“Loaded with disappointment” should be the title of this review.

The folks at Burger King came up with the interesting and unusual idea of putting a baked-potato topping on their latest burger creation. What is a baked-potato topping? Tonight I found out, when I tried the new Loaded Steakhouse Burger with Angus Beef.

It turns out to be a thin paste of potatoes, with chives and bacon bits, spread over the top bun. It tasted like plain old mashed-potatoes to me. Anyway, mystery solved. That was boring, but it’s nothing compared to the overall disappointment I have with this product. At a price of nearly $5, I’m so unsatisfied — I want my money back.

After searching my soul all evening, I simply cannot find a more accurate description for my honest feelings and opinions about this burger. First of all, it’s ridiculous to call this burger “loaded”. There’s hardly anything on it. From the onions and bacon, to the A1 Thick and Hearty Sauce, and even the new potato topping — the portions were like something from a kid’s burger. The following exchange took place between myself and a good friend who was trying the new item with me today. This says it all.

My Friend: When you placed the order did they say anything about running low on toppings or ingredients?

Me: No. Nothing.

My Friend: Is yours like mine?

Me: Hell yeah, where’s all the stuff?

The “crispy onions” were almost non-existent, and what few I got were anything but crispy. They tasted good though, and very similar to the french fried onions served on green bean casseroles. The bacon is supposed to be thin and crisp. It’s thin alright, and I doubt it’s possible for them to give us any less. There was very little flavor from the bacon, and like the onions, it failed to meet the “crispy” claims. Both of these ingredients should have played important roles, but they were limp and soggy.

The baked-potato topping that’s created the buzz around this burger is nothing but a couple teaspoons of mashed potatoes with a few little green and brown flakes that represent chives and bacon. It’s got a pleasant enough ‘potato’ taste, but it’s dull, bland and I swear it’s stealing flavor from the beef, making the whole burger suffer. There was so little A1 sauce, it was barely detectable. “Thick and Hearty” my foot.

The only things of any decent proportion are the meat, cheese and bread. The meat is the only part of this burger that satisfied me. It’s not very thick but it’s large in mass, and it’s square instead of round. The 100% Angus beef patty has a good smokey flame-broiled flavor, and the texture and consistency felt like I was eating quality beef. It’s a shame the surrounding cast is so inferior in either quality or quantity.

The American cheese was average for fast food burgers, no better or worse than most. Basically that means it wouldn’t be a very satisfying cheese on it’s own, but has enough flavor and real-cheese content to make an acceptable topping. The bun was good, with a thin crunchy shell, soft center and dusted with ground corn. Take this beef patty and bun, start over with the other ingredients and you might have a good burger. As it stands now, I would never consider paying $5 to eat this again.

The Loaded Steakhouse Burger from Burger King gets credit for trying something different, but penalized for failing at it. The main things this experience gave me are the sad feeling of paying too much, and the heartburn that started 2 hours after eating it. Who would have thought a burger with such a variety of promising ingredients, and a large dose of fat and calories would provide such a lackluster and boring final result. With a price of almost $5 this is one of the worst values I’ve seen. This burger is not a jewel in the King’s crown, it’s a blemish, a patch of rust in the shiny metal.

Price: $4.79 / Website: BK.com

Fast Food Critic Score: F

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Editor’s Update: I have tried this burger multiple times at multiple BK locations, and the situation was no different. They need to increase the toppings or cut the price.

Nutrition Facts - Burger King, Loaded Steakhouse Burger.

Calories - 970
Calories from Fat - Company has not published this info.
Total Fat - 55 grams
Carbs - 63 grams
Saturated Fat - 22 grams
Trans Fat - 2 grams
Cholesterol - 155 milligrams
Sodium - 2190 milligrams